The Duck Pond
Friday, April 30, 2004
I feel awful. I had a dream last night that has shaken me up rather a lot and just can't ignore it.
When I was about 11 we got the sweetest little Alsatian/Labrador puppy from a recent litter of the bitch at our local garage. He was so covered in oil that we had to bath him (oh how he hated baths) even though usually it's not recommended in dogs so young. We called him Sam. He grew up to be a sweet, good natured, comical, loving and amazing dog and I loved him so much.
Fast forward to my final year at university. Sam was an old dog, he had been blind for a few months and his health was rapidly deteriorating. One day I was just pottering about my room in PJM avoiding studying or whatever I did when I was a student when I got that dreadful phonecall telling me that Sam had cancer and as he was so old it was unlikely that he was going to pull through and probably didn't have long left. I, of course, arranged an emergency trip back to Wigan to see him and was horrified to see how ill he was. The usual boisterous, playful, loving dog that I knew could now hardly stand. He just lay there wheezing and whimpering, obviously in great pain. When I stroked him he tried to wag his tail and licked my hand feebly and it broke my heart.
When the time came for me to go back to University I didn't want to leave him because I knew I'd never see him again. I just sat there crying and cuddling him and had to be dragged away. Four days later I got the phonecall and I knew straight away from the tone of my dad's voice that Sam was dead. My parents and brother couldn't stand to see him suffering any more so had him "put down".
My dream was of that day where I was back at the parents house, the last day that I got to see Sam and the day that I had to leave him knowing I would never see him again. Anyway like I say, the dream has shaken me up - the sorrow and grief of his death have all been brought back to the surface as if it only happened yesterday.
Anyone thinking "oh for god's sake woman, it's only a pet" can o_|/
I was going to write up how wonderful and fun diving was last night but I don't much feel like it now.
Thursday, April 29, 2004
My moonwalk pack arrived yesterday. It consists of:
- A booklet full of advice, the map of the route and plenty of adverts
- An oversized bra (oh well, hard to guess when you're losing weight)
- A hideous flourescent pink baseball cap
- An even more hideous white T-Shirt with hideous flourescent pink bra motif complete with hideous glitter
- A hideous pair of black and flourescent yellow elbow length gloves
Hmm the person I was supposed to be walking with isn't replying to my emails or text messages so I may be walking alone. Bah. I shall give her 2 days to get back to me and then go on the forums and try to find someone else.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
I've become addicted to BG II - Shadows of Amn again. A very bad sign. When I was in my final year of uni I had to give the discs to a flatmate and tell her not to let me have them back under any circumstances until I'd finished my final exam! Actually that was probably the first BG and the second is even better. As a result my yoga is suffering and I really need to get my arse in gear and start revising for my diving exam. Oh well it's cheap entertainment while I'm going through the horrific expense of buying a flat. I'm not going to bitch and moan, I'm actually thanking my lucky stars that I'm in a position to do this but it does worry me from time to time and the less I spend over the next couple of months, the better. Damn you for having the Buffy Boxset DVDs for so cheap when I'm not allowed to spend any money Amazon!
Thanks to all that have sponsored me so far for my ever-looming Moonwalk, I have been overwhelmed by people's generosity. I shall add the link to this site later today in case any other readers want to help out.
Ducklings are so wonderful. I've got used to seeing them swimming along the canal while I walk to and from work every day and although I've not gone quite so far as naming them (yet), I can identify several families and get rather too concerned if, say, the family that normally has two ducklings are out but only the one duckling is visible and get very relieved if I then see the second duckling hiding in some reeds. I just want to adopt them all. AAAHHHHWWWW.
Monday, April 26, 2004
Men speak in C; Women speak in Java. Rather amusing, particularly when you consider how longwinded the guy who wrote it is :)
Friday, April 23, 2004
Happy St. George's Day! For once I actually know when it is and I plan to celebrate with a glass of wine sitting outside in the sun at my favourite pub.
An example of my amazing good fortune: I was worrying about buying diving kit as it's so sodding expensive, in particular the drysuit which can start from about 300 quid for the basic (on sale) then you've got to get undersuit etc. I need to get kit if I'm going to do an open water dive because the club gear is only suitable for pool training and if I'm not going to do open water diving then what's the point of doing all this training*? Anyway the club was selling a drysuit for £100 and, thinking it probably wouldn't fit me, I enquired anyway to be told someone else had registered interest and, understandably, it was all on first-come-first-served basis. Anyway I bought some dive tables and was collecting them last night when the diving officer mentioned that the dry suit still hadn't been sold. Anyway it appears to fit me really well (the cuffs and collar need redoing which I'm told is around 30 quid) so I'm going to buy it. Marvellous luck.
* the training is another example of my luck as usually they only do courses starting in September but they deemed Erik and me keen enough to put a special fast-track course on for us.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
This tickled me today:"Personnaly I think it is a good idea, at 16 I had left school, was in employment and had left home. I see no real reason why such a move shouldn't be made, everyone is affected by the law so suely everyone should have a say in the law. If you look at the old argument that land owners used to prevent working men from having the vote 'To have a say in the running of the country, you must first have a steak in it' is being used again yet everyone from birth to death who lives in the UK does have a very large steak in it. "
Certainly bad news for vegetarians...
Monday, April 19, 2004
Dilbert Comic Strip Hee, very appropriate for me at the moment. Looking at flats this afternoon.
BBC NEWS | Have Your Say | Are birthdays linked to luck?.
Bit of a weird one, not to mention a bloody waste of time and resources but that's not what I want to write about. I was born in May and I think I have certainly been very lucky. I'm skeptical that this is down to my birth date though, I've just been generally very jammy. Attitude obviously plays a large part. Positivity seems to attract "luck", whereas self-pitying whining and negativity repels "luck". Positive people can bounce back from "unlucky" events and turn them to their advantage or simply just brush themselves off and try again whereas negative people will just give up and complain about how life is against them, piss everone off and never get anywhere. For example, take that great philosophical program "Red Dwarf" and compare Arnold Rimmer with Ace Rimmer. One supposedly unlucky incident for Ace was turned into something good. I am well aware this is all made up but I think there have also been examples of this in my life - although happily they didn't lead to me being a rather camp space adventurer with remarkably big hair.
Interesting to read"Babies born in May to August are among the eldest in their years at state schools. It has long been known that this gives them an advantage in sport, academics and confidence.as at my school these people were the youngest and the September people were the oldest.
Clare, UK"
Additionally:
Given all this "positive attitude makes you stronger" waffle. I'd like to add that I do seem to be luckier than the average joe, whether I'm being positive or not and I really don't have a clue why.
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
I was walking along the canal, listening to my jukebox, when "Spybreak" came on. I glanced up to see a guy walking towards me, wearing a long black coat and shades. I blinked and he was still there. Truly bizarre.
I could have hugged the guy who gave us a diving lecture last night. He was telling us about diving computers and how they can measure how long you can stay under water safely. He was explaining that you can adapt them because they're only accurate for the "average" person. "It would be slightly different for an overweight man or..", gesturing at me, "a small, slim female". I grinned all the way through the rest of the lecture and I'll definitely get him a pint next time we're in the pub.
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Diving was fabulous! No sign of whatever was the problem last week. I had a wonderful time and am really looking forward to doing some open water dives when I get chance.
